Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
