just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
