At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
