hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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