i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
