i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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