I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
