if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
