so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
