I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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