I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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