you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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