just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
