By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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