The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize