Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
