Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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