you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
