I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
