from now on my penis is your penis
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
