Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
