Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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