matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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