hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
