We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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