Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize