Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize