I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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