why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
