And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
