Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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