I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...