Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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