are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
