the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
