So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
