I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
