Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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