I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
