oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
