Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
