brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
These tits shall not be calmed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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