Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is the high leading the old right now
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
