I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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