She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
