words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
