So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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