i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
