Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Two words: nipple clamps
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