I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
