so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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