well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
