We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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