Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
