My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
