I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
