My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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