I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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