she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
