KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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