Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
