yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
